Decades of dieting brought years of abusive chatter. When I stood at the mirror, tugged my skin, said some ugly words and covered myself with baggy clothing it seemed harmless.
Imagine saying that to a child, imagine the harm it would do?
Appalling and ludicrous to think it is anything but destructive.
Even when I lost the weight I still did it. I became the task master, the gate keeper for my eating habits, making sure no ‘bad’ foods slipped in and if they did, a verbal beating followed.
When I gave up dieting and examined my behavior around food and my body, the relationship changed. Loving myself could not include any form of abuse.
When you change the inner dialogue a shift happens. Everything becomes easier, gentler and you demand a higher standard from yourself, and all your relationships.
Questions such as why did I abuse myself for so long, why did I let other people fat shame me, why did I not take this path of wellness sooner? started to appear. You change one thing and underneath lies more! This uncovered the shame which needed attention.
Bring in Brene Brown and her shame resilience techniques! (yes, she is essential reading)
Forgiving yourself for the past allows you to move in to the future. As Maya Angelou says “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” And now I know better!
Forgiving all the abuse and nurturing myself is one of the most essential and healing parts of my journey.
“For all the ways I have hurt or harmed myself, knowingly or unknowingly, I offer forgiveness” is a wonderful mantra to recite when you go to that place of shame.
Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love. – Mahatma Gandhi
Without forgiveness our wellness path is blocked. Ready to move forward?
Thanks for reading,
Christina