It is Monday and you are starting that diet… again.
You go through the usual steps:
- You clean out the fridge and the pantry of all the ‘forbidden’ foods
- You announce the launch of this new diet to everyone
Sound familiar?
On my last journey to change my weight (started over 4 years ago) I told no one.
This time I wanted a very different outcome and to do that I needed to change most of my old patterns. I wasn’t even sure why I was doing it. My rationale at this time was that if the old ways had not worked, I needed to do something new.
I changed my ways by analyzing them, putting them under a microscope. Observing other people on diets and their conversations also became part of the research.
What I found : Telling people I was on a diet set me up for failure.
It invites them to be a part of the journey, to comment and make suggestions. It takes away your privacy and limits your freedom to pursue your own path.
Yes, there is the high when you lose weight, but the other side of that is the focus on your body starts to become the constant topic of conversation.
At first, being complimented about my body was lovely, but it started to feel like a personal invasion especially when the unsolicited comments arrived “oh you have lost enough, at your age you don’t want to be too thin” ” Watch out for maintenance that is when it is difficult and you will gain it all back” “How much have you lost, how long did it take, what did you eat? ”
It became exhausting and invasive.
And even more shocking was the memory that I had made these same comments. I had probed people about their weight, commented and voiced opinions. This weight conversation did not bring our the best side of me. It also keeps alive the idea of a perfect body and how we always must work towards that goal.
I don’t talk about my weight now. If people ask how I lost the weight, I will say that I eat everything, just smaller portions. I don’t elaborate and I don’t give advice or consult (except on my blog and in my course!). I don’t debate the merits of diets as I don’t think a diet is the way to go. It is a temporary solution to a bigger issue.
I want every one to have the body they choose to have, not the one dictated by anyone. ( I am of course not including people with eating disorders in this category). The more we claim autonomy over our own body, the more we allow others that right.
Talking about people’s bodies is another we perpetuate the sales of the billion dollar diet industry, that keeps us in the ‘never good enough’ mentality. If we want to learn to love our bodies more, we have to stop the critic spouting venom not only on ourselves, but others.
I love all the dialogue and awareness around body positivity. It is the way we will change. Some of my favorite places to explore this topic further:
1. The Body Positive movement (thebodypositive.org)
2. All of the books by Geneen Roth,
3. The Body is not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor.
The war against our bodies has to stop. Eating disorders are at a record high for all genders.
Changing the conversation may be a small step, but it is a start.
Thanks for reading,
Christina