How do you decide what it is?
A BMI chart shows us our weight range, and endless ideals are thrust at us on social media.
And there is our own definition. For years I had a set number in my head (the same one I had at 20 years old) and I held on to this. Never once did I wonder if I could ever find a different number. Even after I had a child and even after I entered my sixties. My body could change, but not my mindset.
Getting to this number was where everything would be OK, where my life would be perfect.
What if I gave up the pursuit of a number?
When I became a Dieter in Recovery I did that, I gave up the idea of a goal weight. It was scary, as I had always operated this way. Without it, would I spiral out of control?
After a few months of doing this, I realized I had been ‘out of control’ for decades, going from one diet to another, weight cycling, binging. I had made food the enemy and I hated my body. What made me think I had anything ‘under control’.
‘Letting go’ became a big part of the process. Letting go of the obsession, the fear, the shame, the self flagellation, the attachment to a number… all of this had to go, if I wanted a different outcome.
Now if you have been reading my blog, you know this took an awareness and a practice of Mindfulness, Loving Kindness, Gratitude and Shame Resilience (that is my tool box for Wellness).
This time I celebrated not a number on the scale but when my relationship to food and my body became kinder and easier. The times when instead of eating, I paused and asked “What do you need now, because I know you are not hungry, what is really eating at you?”. “Would it help to talk to someone, do I need company, do I need a hug, what could I do instead?” And if that hunger persisted I would make an agreement to eat fruit and veggies until this ‘hungry’ subsides”.
The amazing thing, like anything you practice, you get better at it! And very soon you get a reply to your question, as you stand at the fridge ready to binge eat. “Oh really, yeah that was uncomfortable in work when…. happened” and the inner dialogue continues and you find the pain gets better.
But you can’t bypass that pain and the nasty uncomfortable stuff.. Sometimes you need professional help.
As you focus on the inner journey the external view of self changes. Wellness is about your mental health and it shifts when you shift your focus to a kinder and more loving relationship.
My ideal weight is where I know I have ticked off my boxes for wellness, according to me.
When talking about her workout routine Lizzo, the multi talented dancer, singer,musician, businesswoman says it best ” I’m not working out to have your ideal body type. I’m working out to have my ideal body type”.
Claim your right to have your own body and it all falls in to place.
It’s a magical journey.
Thanks for reading,
Christina